My sophomore year of college was the most difficult time of my life. There is a specific incident I can recall: I was in my dorm room reading the assigned chapter. I started to cry as I read the same sentences over and over again because I was just NOT understanding what I was reading. This wasn’t the first or last moment I had like this… That same year I was placed on academic probation because I was failing almost all of my classes. I was overall defeated and I began beating myself up mentally so concerned that I was literally dumb. I opened up a conversation with God in that small muted room asking him what the point of all of this struggle was.
The Lord didn’t respond with an instantaneous explanation. Instead, he grabbed me by the hand and we went head on with one of my greatest fears. The next two years were a continual struggle but I graduated in 2014 from Angelo State University with a degree in Communication. It wasn’t until my last semester that I learned HOW to learn and I really began to “enjoy” studying. There was a desire to pursue this field of study but I had many reservations against what my own mind was capable of. After two and a half years with the unsettled thought of continuing education I returned to ASU in 2017 to pursue a Masters in Communication.
I AM TRULY AMAZED. I wish I could fully articulate how much I doubted myself in my dorm room that night. I REALLY wish I could fully describe to you every moment Jesus has taken my doubts and replaced them with promises of hope. This was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. It was challenging in so many ways. But the Lord took a girl who thought school was not for her into a girl who loves and values learning.
I share this as a testimony of hope. God is with us in our quietest, most vulnerable moments. He deeply cares about the condition of our hearts and loves to see us complete.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23
The next section is a simple appreciative addition to my RAMFAM:
For the past two years, I’ve been attending classes in the evenings with the best group of people I could have ever asked for. The year I started there was a shift in leadership within my department and a new group of professors had transitioned in. I was bummed because I was looking forward to walking this journey out with the professors from my undergrad but the timing of this was divine. Our department was being led by Dr. Madero, Dr. Lee, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Rodriguez, Dr. Smith & Dr. Howard. I feel it important to address their names because these leaders deserve all of the honor. Not only were they passionate about what they taught but they were passionate about us. They have been a constant stream of encouragement, resourcefulness, and guidance.
The professors were TOP NOTCH but my colleagues/classmates/friends were the real freakin deal. We honestly care so much about each other with this rare respect for what each other believe, act, value, and think. We are all SO EXTREMELY different but we all share the same passion for studying what we do: messages. Dr. Madero best describes it as, “Nerdy conversations trying to solve all of the worlds problems.” In our room, that is exactly what it felt like. In the “outside” world our personalities and beliefs would clash completely and I honestly do not think we would ever give each other a second glance. My perspective has transformed completely. These nerds taught me that every. single. person. contributes so much to how we make sense of our world. These guys did just that.
I love you guys.
ChasingCarr 